i wish i cud make things right before its too late..

truely,my past experiences brought me to the bottom of no where, i cant let go of that nightmare,it still haunts me the moment i think of it,the moment i closed my eyes,there's nothing i can do except blaming myself and made me feel how nonsense i am and how i embraced ideocracy..insane indeed for i didn't give importance to the advices of my parents,i wish at first i've listened to them,they know the best and that was proven and most specially i did'nt give importance to myself,now i've lost almost of it i have nothing except a broken heart and soul.YES, i am totally broken..

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THE STORY..

..i met a man named Mark, after knowing each other he courted me,,and the courting stage lasts for almost or more than a month..

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[2008]

..the time i lent my love on him,,this day onwards our relationship became better but still i am not satisfied and happy beacause my parents is against in our relationship,but then i dont care,i said to myself that i'll defend and protect our relationship because i love him so much as so as he..

..BUT sometimes relationships encouters so many problems,there is jealousy and misunderstanding..i thought i knew him well but then i didn't..our love lived with so many lies,at first he definitely denying it until i discovered the truth..he confessed everything to me and explained that he just did it because he's afraid of loosing me..i tried and gave him the best of my understanding, we went on to our relationship until my parents discovered the truth..they very angry and almost hated me for being their daughter..there is one time when my father put out his anger on me,he said "hayop ka,siguro totoo lahat ng mga pinagsasabi ng lalaking un(he's pertaining to mark)nakakalow moral ang ginawa mo,wag ka ng umuwi ng bahay,kunin mo na mga gamit mo"..i was really2 shocked,theres nothing i can do but to cry and cry and cry..i dont know else what will i do..

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..i am really demoralized that time,haggard and wasn.t able to feel that i am still accepted,even my bothers and sister,also my relatives,they already knew what happened and got interfere,they gave advices and told me to let go of this feeling,i am still young and good fortune awaits me..i am confused,i dont really know what to do and what to think,,after days have passed i've decided one thing for myself..LETTING GO is sometimes necessary to save one's life

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..I THINK THIS IS THE MOST MATURED DECISION IVE MADE FOR MYSELF..

..mark and i broke up,,but still memoires hunts me and keep reminding me how i love him so much,,until now there still a space in my heart that he is occupying..

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..I LEARNED ONE THING..THAT IS,SOMETIMES REALITY IS VERY HARD TO ACCEPT..

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